I 'm hating it. Just hating it.
Dreaming of many many things. But failing to materialize any of them.
Where are things going wrong.
I am failing to manage myself, my time, my thinking and everything that it takes to succeed.
Of late, I have found that I ve just been killing time.
There is a lot to be done, lot of ground to cover, lots of goals to chase, a well cut out target to accomplish.
But i ve been lacking clarity on all fronts.
I have not been resolute at all.
Days are passing by, but not much effort being put in.
Yes, I ve achieved quite a few things but none of them has ever given me personal satisfaction.
Then, how can I claim those as my achivements with pride when they dont satisfy me even.
Where am I heading ? No Clarity.
What am I doing ? No clarity.
What have I done ? No clarity as to whether it will take me to my destination ship.
Why all this confusion ? When will all this end ?
I am finding hard fighting with myself...
I feel a deep rooted, highly heated volcano inside me, that doesn't allow me to rest with peace unless I achieve something substantial.
I set out on starting this blog a few months ago and there ended the whole story after a few posts.
Is this kind of attitude of mine ever going to fetch anything ?
Will I end up achieving what I want to, with this kind of attitude?
Discipline has been lacking very clearly in my life...
There is not even a single day, that leaves me satisfied in terms of my contribution to my MBA...
If this continues, I will finish myself, before my mind finishes me with trouble.....
One thing is loud and clear, I have been experiencing extreme uneasiness due to this.....
How nice would it be if I get back to my performing ways again and start moving on with my life...
Its said, its very difficult to make a start.
But I should add, its very difficult to even hold on after having made one.....
It calls for enormous persistence and determination.....
I have to do it, have to do it, have to do it, have to do it, have to do it, have to do it and have to do it coz' I just love it...
Monday, April 09, 2007
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